Stress eating: Why we do it and how to stop

“Thanks, ‘Rona…..for giving me a muffin top and bigger butt.”

Yep, if it’s one thing that I've been hearing a LOT about lately is that women are getting bigger booties, more muffin top and puffier faces because they are eating, eating, and eating some more to help them handle the stress of COVID. Yet, overeating doesn't just have to come from this global health pandemic.

Nope. Stress eating / emotional eating can be brought on by strain in your marriage, or stress in a dating relationship, or a scary health diagnosis, the death of someone that you love, or all the extra work that’s been thrown on your (virtual) desk due to your company being forced to make major pivots. Oh, and kids being home for months on end will do it to anyone! Yes, even me. (I mean, hello, I also MOVED to another state during all of this!!!)

Yup. Just because I am a Health Coach doesn't make me immune from the same temptations as any normal woman. It may be an extra glass of wine, or something loaded with gluten (which makes my stomach so sick the next day but my goodness real pizza tastes so good) …. a double portion of ice cream…or a few extra Justin's Peanut Butter Cups (bite-sized)!!! I mean, I could eat 10 of them if I let myself. 

The thing with emotional / stress eating is that it prevents you from connecting with your body’s hunger and fullness cues. This can lead to frequent bouts of overeating at meal times. Or snack time. Or even overdoing it at Happy Hour….And before you know it, you’ve got an unwanted habit on your hands.

If you get really honest with yourself and dig a little deeper, you’ll probably see that your habit of overeating isn’t really coming from being super hungry at all….. It’s really rooted in either being board or dealing with emotional stuff. 

To overcome this habit, it would be helpful to understand WHY it happens in the first place. 

Well, first off - it’s actually a natural response. Your brain is actually wired to protect you from pain and keep you safe. Your brain tells you, “eat the cookies. It will make you feel so much better!” AKA: eating will numb the pain.  

For example, you are getting dressed in the morning in yet, another pair of yoga pants, and catch an unflattering glimpse of yourself…..so you ruthlessly beat yourself up for how you look. Your brain then tries to protect you from those painful emotions, and make you feel better. More often than not, this is the cue for the mashed potatoes, French fries, pizza, donuts or whatever your comfort food of choice is, to find their way into your mouth.

This is one of the reasons why I am constantly encouraging my clients to not beat themselves up when they make one, less than smart choice during the day.

Sister, ppplllleeeaaassseee don’t kill yourself over things not going the way you hope for with a workout or a workout or getting to bed on time. Being nasty to yourself can take a big toll on your motivation as well as your willpower to keep on going.

This is also why it’s usually towards the end of the day that most of us will struggle with emotional / stress eating. If you’ve had a long hard day with the kids at home for the zillionth day since ‘Rona made her unwanted appearance, YES, stress and negative emotions will come with that! And YES, you will feel tired and overwhelmed and annoyed and all the feels, so you’ll use food to distract you from all the emotional crap you have swirling around inside you.

Facing those yucky emotions is NOT easy. Trust me. I know. Yet I also know how powerful it is to face them head on!!! And heres the thing, when you try to suppress these feelings, that’s often when stress / emotional eating issues will come up.

If any of this is resonating with you and you want to do something about it, here are 3 things you can do right now to get you back on track:

TIP #1: Allow yourself to both feel and process emotions.
The first step is to give yourself permission to feel. This is not easy for people who grew up being told that crying was for sissies. It’s not. Crying is healing and cleansing for body, mind, soul and spirit. In fact, it actually helps to release yucky toxins our your body so it’s VERY GOOD for you!!!

Throughout the day, do a check in with yourself. Ask yourself how you are REALLY feeling and don’t ignore what comes up for you. If you are up for it, jot down your thoughts in a notebook or on a notes app on your smartphone. Keep in mind that In the beginning, it’s not going to be easy replacing food with new tools to help you cope. You have to plan in advance and don’t expect yourself to change in the moment.

TIP #2 Identify when you struggle the most.
Is it in the afternoon when the kids are having meltdowns? Or later in the evening when all the chores are done but you need to stay up late to finish up on a work proposal? That information is crucial for you to be able to plan what you can do differently instead of raiding the freezer or pouring that extra glass of wine. Think about what you can do today to plan for those situations and set yourself up for success.

TIP #3 Find something else to do instead of eating or drinking.
Try writing a “Helps Me Recharge” list. Take a piece of paper, fold it in half and on one side make a list of 10 things that help you to rechargel and that don’t cost you a penny. Examples: call a friend, go for a walk, read a book, take a hot bath, play with a pet, draw, watercolor, play an instrument etc.

Then on the other side of the paper, make a list of 10 things that help you to recharge but do cost some money. Examples: Get a massage, enjoy a mani/pedi, buy yourself some fresh flowers, rent a movie online, take a day trip somewhere etc.

***For me, sometimes I like to get lost in a good book — or a dumb TV show (yes, I watch The Bachelorette/The Bachelor and yell at the people acting dumb ha ha ha)…. I’ll play my guitar, go for a long walk, or call a friend. Sometimes organizing things around the house helps me to feel SO. MUCH. BETTER. (To each her own, right?)***

To wrap up, I want you to work on finding some new, healthy things that you can do (aka new behaviors), and then plan when you’ll do those things. This way you can normalize the new habits BEFORE the craving devil pops up - or gets even crazier!