How to Get Better Sleep—When You Suck at Sleeping
You know you need it. You know it’s important. You know life is better when you get enough of it. And yet, somehow, you’re still lying there at 2 AM, scrolling through your phone, wondering why you’re wide awake. You just can’t seem to get it. So now what?
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many women struggle with sleep (especially if in perimenopause). It's either we don’t get enough, or what we do get is low-quality. But just like you wouldn’t survive long-term on gas station snacks and energy drinks, your body won’t function well without proper sleep.
So let me break it down and help you figure out how to fix it.
Step 1: Stop Fighting Your Own Biology
Your body isn’t being dramatic when it begs for sleep—it’s wired to need it. Sleep is when your brain processes information, your muscles repair, and your hormones reset. Ignore it for too long and you’ll be running on barely-there fumes (and be really cranky).
But here’s the thing: your body wants to sleep. It just might need a little help getting there.
Step 2: Set Up a Sleep-Friendly Environment
Imagine walking into a high-end spa. Soft lighting, soothing music, and an overall sense of calm. Now compare that to the crime scene that is your bedroom at night—laundry everywhere, bright screens, noise, gross sheets that haven’t been changed recently, maybe a mattress that has seen better days.
Let’s fix this. Here’s how:
1. Make it dark. Blackout curtains. Eye masks. Get rid of that blue-light-emitting alarm clock or TV screen.
2. Cool it down. The ideal sleep temp is around 65°F. If it’s too warm, your body won’t shut down properly.
3. Ditch the phone. No, really. Scrolling before bed wrecks melatonin production. Put it across the room. Even better, leave it in the bathroom to charge instead of next to your bed if the temptation to scroll causes you to cave.
Step 3: Trick Yourself Into a Routine
Ever notice how kids do better when they have a bedtime routine? Bath, story, bed. And then they’re out like a light. Adults need this too (routine), and it may change based on the season of life you are in.
Try this 60-minute wind-down:
60 minutes before bed:
Turn off screens, dim the lights, take a hot bath, maybe sip some tea.
30 minutes before bed:
Stretch, journal, diffuse some essential oils — just do something mindless.
15 minutes before bed:
Get in bed. No phone. No work. Just sleep.
Step 4: Manage Stress—Because It’s Keeping You Up
If your brain races the second your head hits the pillow, stress is probably the problem.
TRY:
1. Deep breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 8)
2. Brain dump journaling (write everything down, get it out of your head)
3. Sleep meditations or white noise (science-backed and actually works)
Step 5: Be Consistent (Even on Weekends)
Here’s the hard truth: you cannot fix bad sleep with one good night. Just like you can’t eat one salad and expect a six-pack.
Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day—even on weekends. Yes, it’s annoying. But your body loves routine. Stick with it, and sleep will stop feeling like an impossible dream.
Final Thought: Sleep Isn’t a Luxury, It’s a Power Move
Good sleep isn’t just about avoiding being grouchy or having under-eye bags (though that’s a perk). It’s about mental clarity, better energy, a stronger immune system, and feeling like a functioning human.
So if you’ve been struggling to sleep, don’t just accept it. Fix it. Your body will thank you.
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