Lifting The TEDx Curtain: A Behind-the-Scenes Look At My Journey To The Red Dot
On Saturday, February 24, 2024 I stood on the famous red dot many only dream of and delivered my first TEDx talk, “T-Minus X Days And Counting.” This was a 10 year dream-goal come true in GOD’s perfect timing for me. And, after 31 years honing my skills performing or speaking on stages of all kinds!
Watch “T-Minus X Days And Counting” HERE
So many of you have asked what this experience was like so, I decided I’d write a blog post about it.
LEARNING ABOUT THE COMING AUDITION
The day I learned that auditions were coming to Charlotte, I just about melt down in a total panic. Every fear, excuse and subconscious self-doubt came right up to the surface. I called up my Mindset Coach @LoriHayes and just talking about possibly auditioning had my tummy a wreck and my body shaking like a leaf.
I had to have a BIG “Come to Jesus” with myself after that coaching session. My dream was waiting for me to grab hold of it by the horns but my fear of being rejected —- because maybe I wouldn’t be good enough —- was making me want to run and hide! ME — Carolina Marrelli — a woman who is normally super confident, was a big crying ball of mush.
THE FIRST AUDITION
TED / TEDx is all about ideas worth spreading. So if you don’t have a really strong idea — You’re going to have some work to do.
For the TEDx I auditioned for, we had a theme and needed to create a no more than 2 min video that talked about the theme (The Currency Of…..) and the idea we wanted to present around that theme.
It was made very clear that if you didn’t follow the directions to the T, you were OUT. There was also a short course to go through along with worksheets to help you nail down and refine the idea you wanted to base your potential talk on.
Then began the long wait. Three months to be exact.
THE SECOND AUDITION
Once I found out that I made it to the next round, I had 2 weeks to take my idea and prepare to give a 5 minutes mini TEDx — following a very specific format — to the selection committee. Following that live audition, I had to endure a friendly 25 minutes of my idea being chewed up, spit out and devil’s advocating back and fourth about my idea.
The purpose of this was:
To see if my idea had “legs”.
To see if I was going to be a total diva about my idea or if I was actually going to be coachable in the hands on the TEDx speaking coaches. (PS They won’t tolerate bull crap — you’re playing in the big leagues now.)
FINDING OUT THE AUDITION RESULTS
The selection committee told us we would have to wait a month for the results.
I had just flown into Orlando, FL for a speaking event. My best friend lives there and picked me up to take me to dinner. TEDx was hot on the brain…. people were starting to get notified that they had not been accepted…. But I hadn’t heard a word yet. So after dinner, I check my email and ……THERE. IT. WAS.
We were sitting in the car in the parking lot and I toss my phone to my bestie saying, “OMG! I can’t read this! YOU to read it to me!”
So she did.
The next few minutes were nothing but screaming, squealing, crying, laughing and me jumping up and down outside of her car like a crazy lady. I called my husband, friends and family to tell them the wonderful news.
I am forever grateful that I wasn’t alone in a hotel room finding out this news…. That God in His goodness, arranged for my BFF to be there to celebrate with me!
NOW THE REAL WORK BEGINS
First, I was assigned to work with a TEDx speaking coach (she’s a 2x TEDx speaker). I also had the blessing of having our TEDxMintStreet organizer (and TEDx speaker) offering her insights, coaching me where needed and overseeing my progress.
My incredible coach, Demi, and I in the green room before giving my talk. Watch “T-Minus X Days And Counting” HERE
I met with my coach every other week. For months and months, I wrote, rewrote and wrote some more. TEDx has a very specific way that they want information delivered and I had to learn that way of writing…. It was foreign to me and I struggled for awhile. I needed to find a happy medium between the way I communicate my thought leadership and the expectations of TEDx.
When you write a TEDx talk, EVERY word matters. You have to learn to weave your idea into a story arc and get people to feel certain things without actually using the words to describe those exact feelings.
Not gonna lie. This was THE HARDEST THING I have EVER done as a speaker. My ego had to go take a major time out so my coaches could pull out the gold we all knew was deep inside of me. Had I not been coachable, this would have been a miserable thing for us all .
On New Years Day 2024, two months from the live filming, I was told by my amazing coaches that my talk was outstanding for any other stage…. but it wasn’t good enough for TEDx. Friends….I almost lost my spot!
I had two choices in that moment:
Give up and quit…. Curl into a ball, cry my eyes out, and feel sorry for myself the rest of my life…. “See you really aren’t good enough, are you?!”
OR
2. Recognize that this was not about me as a person. This was about an idea that needed more refining and me needing to get back to work redesigning how I presented my idea in order to have a more powerful and impactful talk worthy of the TEDx platform.
My coaches helped me see what needed work or finessing and I spent 9 hours on 1/1/2024 in my walk in closet, rewriting my talk. YES, that’s how I spent my first day of 2024…..
PRESENTATION TO TEST GROUPS
Two weeks later, I presented my totally rewritten talk to a select group of Toast Masters elite coaches on Zoom.
There were tears.
There were smiles.
There were nothing but positive things to say…. And a few small catches that I hadn’t seen on my own.
At that point, I knew we were getting somewhere…. And so did my coaches! Just a few more tweaks to go….Enter drafts 5 and 6……
Then more online group presentations and rehearsals with the speakers and coaches. It was so neat to watch each speaker’s confidence growing as their talks took on their final form.
WHAT’S BODY LANGUAGE HAVE TO DO WITH A TEDx TALK?
Um…. a whole lot!
Every single thing I did with my body (hand gestures, arm movements, moving around the red dot, leg stances etc.) mattered because they:
Helped tell the story.
Drew the audience in.
THOSE YEARS OF VOICE LESSONS AND THEATER HELPED!
When giving a TEDx talk, how you use your voice to share your idea will either put the audience to sleep or it will captivate their attention.
People have commented on how theatrical of a performance my TEDx felt…. And that’s exactly what I intended.
I came in through the audience singing and carrying a lantern.
I sang a phrase towards the end of my talk to drive a point home.
I used a variety of vocal tonations to evoke a wide range of emotions in the audience —- It was critical to do this carefully because too much would take away rather than add to the message I was communicating.
Much of this knowledge came from years of vocal lessons, theater and musical training. But it also came from studying books and videos on how to use body language for public speaking.
When I rehearsed, I practiced in front of a mirror.
I also filmed myself on my iPad and would rewatch the videos over and over and over again. I was able to pick and choose what worked and what did not work by doing this.
And oh do I have some great bloopers!!
THE PART EVERYONE FEARS MOST — MEMORIZING YOUR TALK
When you give a TED / TEDx talk, there are no teleprompters, cue cards, confidence monitors or notes allowed.
Every word that you speak must be memorized. It needs to be more than memorized – it needs to be completely internalized.
I know so many incredibly seasoned speakers who won’t audition for a TEDx because they are terrified of having to memorize.
I was scared too. I was so used to free flowing but this made me such a better speaker as a result.
Once my talk was officially signed off on, I began the intense work of memorizing my script. It was many, many weeks of constantly reading over my script silently and out loud hundreds of times.
I would go to sleep at night reciting paragraphs of my talk.
If I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, I would be reciting my lines half asleep.
When I woke up in the morning, I would have my script coming out of my mouth.
When I went walking through my neighborhood, I was reciting my lines.
When I was cooking or driving, I was saying my lines and when I was sitting at red lights, I was going over my script that I kept in my purse.
I also asked friends and family to sit and listen to my talk. It really helped me to get out the jitters. Things that I thought I knew so well backwards and forwards would suddenly leave my mind the second I got in front of people!
The coaches said that at some point during the memorization process, something just clicks in your brain and in your body. All of a sudden things just flow naturally out of you and you don’t even have to think about it.
The night that I experienced this phenomenon was the night I finally felt like I was having fun practicing my talk. I was able to completely relax, and it was as if I was singing a song I’ve sung my entire life. No thinking involved.
MANAGING THE STRESS AND STAYING HEALTHY BEFORE THE BIG DAY
I’m a Corporate Wellness Wpeaker and Holistic Health Coach so I know how important it is to manage stress. And the stress (mostly the good kind) that comes along with this TEDX process is enormous. Absolutely enormous.
The month before TEDx, I started getting weekly immune boosting IV treatments. I worked my butt off prepping for my moment on the red dot and I was not about to allow illness to take me down!
I slept 9 hours every night.
I made sure I took my supplements and that my daily diet stayed healthy, clean and nutrient dense. (And yes, I enjoyed a glass of wine or an Old Fashioned here and there and YES I ate a lot of dark chocolate)
I took a lot of long walks and gave my body whatever kind of exercise it was asking for.
I spent time with friends and did things that helped me relax.
And most importantly…. I prayed. I prayed A LOT.
I knew the idea I had that was worth spreading needed God’s anointing on it …. because it’s the anointing that breaks every yoke (See Isaiah 10:27).
And from what I saw in the test groups, this talk was going to help set a lot of people free and help them navigate through some of life’s most challenging moments.
VISUALIZATION AND MINDSET WORK
One more thing that helped me manage the months of anticipation and stress leading up to the filming was doing mindset work and visualizing exactly how I wanted the big day to go.
In fact, I even went to the venue to get a tour of the space. I took video and photos so I could see the place again later on my iPhone — this REALLY helped calm my brain down because I no longer had any wonder about what the place would look or feel like when I got there. And what I experienced on the big day was exactly what I spent months visualizing.
THE DAY BEFORE TEDx
I did the usual things us ladies do like nails, hair, laid out my outfit / jewelry etc…
I made sure I had everything I would need for the following day — like touch up makeup, deodorant, various calming essential oils, a hairbrush/ hair spray, gifts for my coaches and some goodie bags for the other speakers.
I also made sure I packed my own lunch and snacks!!! Thank God I did because what was provided, although it looked yummy, I was unable to eat due to my food allergies.
But honestly, I was barely able to get anything down other than a protein bar, fruit and some quinoa!
But I digress….
Our whole team — from volunteers to AV people to speakers — gathered together at the venue for a full dress rehearsal. Not everyone was local to Charlotte so we had people flying in from out of town.
That night, we had our first time standing on the red dot. In that moment — it hits you that this IS REALLY HAPPENING.
I’ll be honest there were a lot of people who completely blanked out during rehearsal. The nerves are legit!
At this point you’re doing stage blocking with the camera people and everything is laid out for how it will go the next day.
When I got home, I ate a good dinner I had prepped for myself earlier and went to bed early.
THE BIG DAY FINALLY ARRIVES
I woke up super early because I had a makeup artist coming to do my makeup.
6:45am makeup call!
And this is what we do to get the puff under the eyes down at 7:00am!
I did my best to get down whatever food I could — lets face it, them butterflies felt like vultures in my tummy!
On my way to the venue, I prayed and then rocked out to my fave music while visualizing myself doing my talk on stage.
I was asked to be the closing speaker — which is a HUGE honor. It also meant that I had to wait in the green room aaaallll daaayyy lloooonnng managing a wide range of emotions, adrenaline and butterflies.
I did my best to focus on encouraging the other speakers before they went on stage and then celebrating with each one after they finished.
We were encouraged NOT to listen to the other speakers until we had finished our own talk… otherwise you ran the risk of forgetting your lines and getting other peoples words stuck in your head. I did however, get to see the speakers on a FB live showing on a movie screen with the sound turned off.
HERE WEEEE GOOOOO!!!!
I ran to the bathroom a few times to nervous pee before and after getting miked up LOL
Then I was walked over to a holding area while the speaker before me wrapped up her talk.
Thats when the strangest thing happened:
My entire body started shaking like crazy.
No, I wasn’t scared. I can’t even say I was even nervous at that point because I KNEW I was created for this moment and I had this amazing sense of peace. But I WAS very excited!
I realized later that in that moment, my dream-goal of 10 years was about to come true the moment I turned the corner and walked through the doors into the live studio audience.
My human body was responding to that the only way it knew how: By shaking like a leaf so it could let get that pent up energy out!
One of the volunteers came around the corner, saw me shaking and said, “We’re going to co-regulate.” She wrapped me up in a bear hug and within 30 seconds, my whole system calmed down.
I was then escorted into the studio where the live audience was waiting for me.
An AV person did one last check on my mike pack battery level….. The MC begins to introduce me and while she does, I close my eyes, put my hands over my belly, say a quick prayer and then tell the girls (aka the butterflies) to get into flying formation…… We got work to do.
One big last deep breath and big swig of water and I’m off and running!
The next 12 minutes seem to FLY by.
I locked onto the camera — never once looking at the audience (we were warned not to) and my words begin to flow right out of me with such ease. I didn’t even have to think — my body is naturally doing what I had practiced and visualized over and over and over again. I’m having fun and totally in the Zone —So much so that I don’t even notice who is sitting in the two front rows.
Something seemed to take over me.
I performed at a level I have never performed before —- and with such calm confidence, ease and peace that when I look back at the footage, I can’t even believe that person is ME!!!
(Well, I sure did just raise the bar a heck of a lot higher for myself now didn’t I?)
Watch “T-Minus X Days And Counting” HERE
THE AFTER PARTY AND ABSOLUTE POST TEDx EXHAUSTION
We had a huge catered dinner party back at my house for family and friends after we wrapped up filming.
And YES, I chowed down!!!! It was so much fun to celebrate in a really BIG way with the people who love me and who have supported me on this journey to the TEDx stage. We partied until after midnight!
The following day, I felt like I had been hit by a MAC Truck (And NO, I was not hungover)! We had a few family members stop by before they drove back to their home states and I mustered up what energy I could but ……
The next WEEK and a half I was soooooo drained. I had no idea how much this experience would cost me mentally, emotionally and physically. And I take awesome care of myself!
So you need to be prepared for this part too if you do become a TEDx speaker. You are going to give of yourself more than you ever have on every level — on top of being a spouse, parent, business owner or employee.
There are sacrifices you will need to make to bring the best talk to the world that you can.
For me that looked like missing out on a family ski trip so I could stay home to memorize and rehearse in the weeks before TEDx. It meant skipping certain things so I could keep working on refining my talk — but it was SO WORTH IT because all that prep led to a killer TEDx talk and me delivering THE talk of my life (and receiving standing ovation for it)….. But the response from the live audience was what floored me. So many people told me how badly they needed to hear what I shared. The people waking up to the importance of intentional living…. the tears, the hugs and the lives impacted for the better —— Yup. THAT’S what really matters most.
WATCH MY TALK, “T-Minus X Days And Counting” HERE
So how about you? Are you thinking of doing a TEDx? Or maybe you have done one and had a very different experience. I’s love to hear about it!